so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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