is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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