The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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