Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
