Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
