It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
