He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize