I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
