Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
vagina is talking i cant
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
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I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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