You surviving the open bar?
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Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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