I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
