you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
