Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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