I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize