Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize