she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Dick very happy bro
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
