i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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