so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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