I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
