1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize