You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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