I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
