Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
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