Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
