I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize