What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
