you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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