Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
pray to the hookup gods
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