PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
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It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
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Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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