the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
