I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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