When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
