Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
