i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
