i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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