Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize