My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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