Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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