Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
