I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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