it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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