I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
