this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
