I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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