then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Help me help you realize you are a moron
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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