I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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