So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
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how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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