very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
