Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
