If i come over, it means nothing
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
