wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
