Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
