He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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