First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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