Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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