Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize