are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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