either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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