More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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