Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
